It was cold last night. COLD. As if to rub it in, we awoke to a great big sun in a clear sky, just like a beautiful Winter’s day. Except we’re apparently in the heart of Summer. I sighed as I woke up in my bed this morning with the electric blanket on, and slid my feet into my flip flops to avoid the feel of pattering across the cold wooden floors.

Last night, puttering around in my sweater and rubbing my hands together for a little warmth, I decided it was a good time to make that other Caponata. My other option was an apple, feta, avocado and mint salad, so I’m sure you will agree that it would not have been suitable at all on such a cool evening. It was late time I started (when left alone for an evening, I have a terrible problem with procrastination) and so the photographs don’t quite do it justice.

Mr Carmellini’s version was a little rougher than Mr Stitt’s. A bit more of late night than lazy Sunday afternoon. The flavours were raw, the hit from the vinegar and chilli’s far more aggressive. You could say richer, but it was not a melded dish per se. Where Mr Stitt’s was pure velvet like maybe a good glass of Nero d’Avola, Mr Carmellini’s was your second shot of grappa, warm in the back of your throat. Both were delicious. Next week, I feel an Emily’s Caponata coming on!

There have been a few things jumping out from my coaching. The sort of things that ring true when I come to think about them. Such as how much pressure I exert on myself.

So instead of so much working this week, I’ve made time to do the things I otherwise enjoy, and focused on them rather than being distracted by my busy mind.

It’s been interesting testing out new ways of being and doing things. I haven’t managed nearly as much yoga or other exercise as I would like this week, neither did I tick the box with my study. Going through these different variations as to how I spend my time has been quite illuminating though. A few weeks ago, I was going crazy from not having any free time. Now I know it’s all perception. What I used to do in my free time, I had turned into a to-do list. Since I already know what I want to fill my days with, this week I won’t be scheduling my time. For me, it’s the scheduling that takes away the feeling of it being a choice and of having any free time in the first place. I would like to enjoy the whole process. We’ll see how I go this week without my Google Calendar Alerts!

* Last night’s dinner was Frank Stitt’s Shrimp Salad Portofino and a glass of Italian wine. Delicious!

I’ve been taking my time this week and lingering on the things that create a feeling of joy inside. Instead of cooking meals I can do with my eyes closed, I’ve been creating meals by recipe.

I have always loved learning new things. I thoroughly enjoyed cooking my way through Clotilde’s fantastic book not so long ago and would regularly still be in the kitchen at 10pm creating not just a quiche, but also a cake. I’d be rubbing my hands together impatiently, eyes wide, wanting to sample but waiting for it to cool. I learned I could make good pastry (there are some good things with having consistently cold hands!). I learned how well prunes and lamb go together, when rolled together into balls with a hint of orange and topped with plain yogurt. I found great pleasure in these things.

But how easy it is to go back to the meals you have already mastered, and do them on autopilot. This week, I decided to change that. Not to make my life impossible, but to balance it out again. For cooking to have a central place in my life, just as it has in my heart.

As if I needed any more confirmation, I opened a magazine today to the words “…to experience something far more wondrous than the realization of a goal”. That’s how the cooking feels for me when I take my time. I don’t just get dinner on the table. I forget about what may or may not have happened at work that day. I don’t think about what I might otherwise do with my time. I think about what I feel like eating, what’s the best I could do for us, whether there’s something we could celebrate. I maybe learn a new technique or flavour pairing to utilize again later. And then I enjoy the meal itself.

(Rock by the wonderful mccabe)