* those big feet are andy’s. He also took these photos, but gave me permission to borrow them because I loved them so much.

Most of these photos are from my twitter account. I have been so slack at getting my camera out these past few months and all of these are from my iPhone. My days are happily spent pottering around in the city, in cafes & bars, on our balcony…. and of course in the office. The latter might sometimes be a bit of a bore if I didn’t enjoy (most of!) my colleagues company so much.

I love cities. I love everywhere, but I really love cities. On my lunch breaks I either get to go sit in the sun and people watch (and acquire more freckles, it would seem) or I get to mingle in the energy of the streets where the work crowd are out for lunch and the tourists are in dense clusters making good use of the current low exchange rate. I love getting to my train station and hearing all the Spanish being spoken. And I love getting my morning cup of black coffee from my happy Italian Barrista.

There were a few mornings a while ago when the sun wasn’t yet at it’s fullest and we’d wander into a local cafe/bar on the weekend to read the papers whilst sitting in the sun’s rays as they streamed through the window. When the time was as such that those rays would soon be hitting our balcony we took ourselves home. Our little neighborhood here in London is so good to us. We have a town center, a village and lots of other local cafes, bars, shops, parks and my beloved river path. We also have a bizarre fancy dress store whose window display is currently an obese Baywatch costume. Someone not only thought that up, they also made it.

Adios from my balcony, for now. I’ll be back soon with more images and energy from the London summertime & wherever else we find ourselves.

We in the UK have a new government and it’s a little different from what anyone anticipated.

Before the election, I spent time with the ideas from the manifestos of Labour and the Liberal Democrats swirling in my mind. I then voted not only with my heart but also tactically. I voted to keep the Conservatives out of power and I voted to move closer to Europe and adopting the Euro. I voted to be open to immigration. I voted with the hope of being represented.

The result has been that the Liberals and Conservatives have compromised and formed a coalition. Theoretically I have no problem with this. The Liberals could vaguely temper any rash or alarming Conservative idea, which is surely better than having no refrains in place at all. However, the areas the Liberals appear to have compromised on are unfortunately my Deal Breakers. And when the Conservatives name a somewhat homophobic MP to be in charge of equality…. Well, suffice to say I raise an eyebrow. I also cringe when I consider our new “obsessively anti-European” Minister for Foreign Affairs. Oh la la (la la la la)!

I am acutely aware that the only way I can bring about any sort of change is within my own life and in my own exchanges. When my Conservative voting* colleagues pointed their fingers at me this morning laughing and informing me I had “lost”, I was glad to take the afternoon off to do something practical toward my own future. In the end, each and every one of us is responsible for our own lives and how we live them. I can’t change the Conservative voters in my office, but I can control the hows and wheres of my life. I can choose how much I let others interfere with my day to day thoughts and my mood. I can choose to smile when the Conservatives tell me to “B^gger off back to New Zealand”** when I ask questions for which they have no answers or when they look at me confused because all they voted for was change regardless of the package. I could struggle with understanding their choices, or I can just let them be. I’m going to let them be. I’d like to say I could engage with them, but it’s just not my calling.

Over to you, Nick Clegg, et bonne chance!

* I appreciate not all Conservative voters are like this. This just relates to my recent and specific personal experience.
** I was born and bred in Britain, with every right to be here and vote for what I believe in.

I continuously notice when I’m going through a big period of change, because many of the things I surround myself with change alongside. I start listening to different music. I find myself really enjoying a different form of exercise. I have a great conversation with someone I’ve not spoken to in months (maybe years) or with someone I literally just met. Even the colors that appeal to me change. It all slides and swirls in to place until a new image is reflected back at me.

When I was feeling adrift and with no real vigor behind my passions in New Zealand, I found myself reaching out for grounding things. The music that comforted me then, I no longer own. It feels alien to me now that I would ever have known it, let alone enjoyed it. The color of this blog back then was white, with tiny restrained blue flower buds.

This weekend I went to see Federico Aubele live. Federico is actually one of my few constants, and the proof is on my iTunes, where pretty much all of his songs are listened to more than any others. I have felt his music in my whole body from the very first day I came across it. He was fantastic live, but I didn’t expect any less, given I listen to recordings of his live performances frequently. He left the stage and I wanted more, more, more! But then, as you’d guess by now, I could have listened to him all night non-stop, until he fell off his stool.

By virtue of seeing Federico, I also got to see Melody Gardot. I already had Melody’s music on my iPod and I had put a few of her songs in my on-the-go playlist recently. Last night though, she blew me away and opened another path in my mind. This is one very talented artist, and the musicians who were playing with her were outstanding. They were playing to the very beat of my life here in London. The jazz was big and loud, flirty and fun. And the whole stage was a box of talent so intense that even when laying in bed afterward I had trouble going to sleep. I was so inspired.

You may wonder where I’ve been all this time, but until she made references on stage about pain, I had no idea of her story. When I googled her today, I read that she has just two suitcases of possessions in this world. This really resonated with me. I have daydreams of what freedom looks and feels like that flicker across my eyes when I stare absentmindedly out of train windows. I flicked Andy an email this morning saying “How about it?”… I don’t think we’ll ever get our possessions down quite that low (I have to own my own hair dryer for one, not being able to rely on a stylist to have one handy) but even with all the clearing out we’ve done for the past year, consistently wiping off layer after layer of stuff, it seems we are both inspired to clear away yet more. Preparing another canvas to decorate and design, morphing into our next experience.

Notes:
More on Melody here.
More on Federico here.

“The last five years have been about spring-cleaning for me. Now it’s time for my rebirth. I love trying new things, I just can’t be put in a box.” ~ Jennifer Aniston, Harpers Bazaar UK ed. May 2010.

iPhone photo, taken on a walk to work last Winter

When I went quiet on my blog last year it was because I discovered family had been reading it without my knowledge and for some reason, I felt intruded upon. I’m not close to my family at all. Most of them are little more than strangers whose names I somehow happen to know.

I’ve now read some three times in the last month to risk being seen.

This past Winter I have been peeling off layers of societal and personal expectation and just doing what makes me happy. Choosing to do only things I feel good about doing. Reading books that open my mind and bring me to a new level of understanding and awareness.

I’ve been studying. I’ve been acting with no fanfare. There is a detailed photo in my mind of where I want to go, which gets added to the more I explore and look around and the more I feel in to it. I received some wonderful guidance last night, from someone I have enormous respect for, and he shifted a whole lot of energy in me.

I am here.

(and here!)